Rise and Shine, Maggots!
by Blackrose715378
Summary: OOPS! It's copa, not coba. Darn.


_Disclaimer: This fic is a work of fiction. Duh. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. _

_A/N: All right, honestly I think this sucks, but I had to get it out of my system. However, I must give credit to Akili for coming up with this brilliant idea. Ciao! _

Rise and Shine, Maggots!

The occupants of bunk 24 were rudely awakened by shouts of "rise and shine maggots!" accompanied by the oh-so-lovely banging of garbage cans. Noticing that it was darker than usual outside, these unfortunates realized that there must be some reason for which they were being waken up early. Shooting suspicious glances at each other, they grouchily got out of their beds and went to line up in front of the cabins that had been their homes for the past three months. Three down, three to go.

It was an off sight to see so many…adverse people lined up in front of their respective buildings. But then again, this was Camp Daffodil, or in other words, boot camp for villains who had ceased to be as evil and ruthless as they once were. Camp Daffodil was created to re-harden these criminals-for-hire and turn them back into respectable members of the community. Anyway.

Once everyone was in place, an extremely pissed-off looking man exited from the doors of the mess hall, dragging a large burlap sack behind him. Once he arrived in the middle of the grouping of bunks, he turned the bag upside-down, letting the contents fall out onto the ground. A large snake fell out. Studying everyone's reactions, the man picked up the snake just behind its head and held it high above his head for everyone to see.

Pacing back and forth in front of the long line in front of him, he looked every person in the eye as he passed. "This," he barked, gesticulating wildly, causing the snake to flail about in midair, "was found in the infirmary. Would anyone like to tell me how it got there?"

The man looked around, and saw no response from the group. "All right, have it your way!" He walked over to an unidentified person wearing a bag over his/her/its head. "Someone _will_ tell me how said snake appeared in the infirmary, or X here will be thrown in solitary for the remainder of the year."

No one said anything. X wasn't very popular at Camp Daffodil. Actually, X wasn't very popular anywhere. The rest of the inhabitants of Camp Daffodil would be quite content to watch X slowly be devoured by rabid wolverines. But that's besides the point.

Sighing, because he knew he should've chosen someone else to threaten the troops with, the man motioned to a guard, who took X most courteously by the arm and led him/her/it to a deep pit in the ground. The guard gently pushed the bag-headed person into the pit, and proceeded to cover the top of the hole with barbed wire. The uniformed man holding the snake allowed everyone a brief moment of celebration, but then shut everyone up again.

"All right, since you obviously don't care about one another, I'll tell you this. If I don't discover the origin of this snake here in ten seconds, you will all be forced to perform an impromptu concert of "Coba Cabana," which will be sent to your previous employers. Good luck finding work after that, you miserable dirtbags."

The man counted to nine and was just about to order the video camera readied for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. However, he did not have to give the order, because at that moment, a metallic claw was hesitantly raised into the air.

The man strode over to where he had seen the claw raised. "Did you put this snake in the infirmary," he asked Psycho, sounding tired.

Psycho's eyes lit up. "No, sir, but I know who did."

The man tapped his foot.

Psycho whirled around and pointed at the scaly monstrosity next to him, who was incidentally writhing with snakes. "He did it, sir!"

Bio-con looked panicked. "No, ssssir! It's liessss! All liessss! He-he ssssstole my brother while I wassss ssssleeping!"

The man looked around. "Who validates that?"

Five anonymous former DREDD guards raised their hands.

"Morons," Psycho muttered under his breath.

"Well, good news, maggots!" the man began, "You're all off the hook now!" He tossed the snake to Bio-con, who caught it and stroked its head, cooing to it.

The unemployed criminals began to make their way back to their bunks to get dressed, and Psycho struggled to blend into the crowd. However, the lights on the outside of the large compound they had been standing in front of reflected off his newly-polished titanium exterior and gave him away quite easily.

"Not so fast, you!"

The cyborg slowly spun around, wishing his metallic face had not been frozen into a mocking smile. This was not the time for such a facial expression.

However, he was somewhat relieved to see that the man was smiling as well. Until he realized that the smile _he_ was looking at was…slightly psychotic. "I have a special job for you."

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

L'etranger and Woody Barkowski both emerged from their bunk house and began to make their way towards the large main building. It was a little after lunch time, and no one was really sure why they were being called down.

Woody had just gotten his "electricity privileges" back, and was using them at every advantage, frying a bird or too along the way. Almost at the base, they heard mutterings coming from the large pit in the ground in which X had been made an example of earlier. Amused to see their acquaintance in such a hard spot, the two ambled their way on over to the edge of the large hole in the ground.

"Hello!" Woody chirped cheerfully.

Some kind of odd noise of excitement came from the bit. "Thank god! You've come to free me, haven't you! I know we've had our differences in the past, but I'm glad you're ready to move on and accept criticism-"

L'etranger grimaced and nodded to Woody, who happily pointed his new Telebolt at X and shocked him. Peering down between the gaps in the barbed wire, the two waved at the disadvantaged occupant of the pit.

Outraged, X tried to claw its way out of the well-sized pit, and got half way up before loosing its grip and falling on its butt.

L'etranger congratulated Woody on a job well done, and they continued on to whatever the heck it was that they had been called down for.

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

"I'll never do it again, I promise!"

"Too late."

"But-"

"Go on."

"Why can't we just-"

"The music's starting. Better go, wouldn't want to miss your cue." The man, now wearing military fatigues, shoved the cyborg out onto stage and then went to grab a seat in the audience.

There in front of the entire camp, Psycho proceeded to do his "Coba Cabana dance" that he had perfected in front of the mirror when he was seven years old. He had come from an odd household.

The camera caught every minute of the large, semi-metallic man bedecked in brightly colored dress, fruit hat, and dangling earrings as he carried out his punishment for attempting to rat out another member of the camp. The tape was later copied and emailed to John Dread, who presently grimaced in distaste and sent the tape on to his grandaughter. Abigail watched the tape, mass re-produced it, and sold copies over the internet, making sure that Psycho would never work in ANY town ever again.

And this is what happens in villain boot camp.


End file.
